The Story I Must Tell
by keeptheotherone
Summary: Percy finally tells Audrey about his estrangement from the family. A sequel to "The Weasley Christmas Song List."


A/N: This is a sequel to _The Weasley Christmas Song List_. You'll want to read that first (hint: pay attention to everyone's song) to get the most from this story. This title is from the third verse of "Jingle Bells," the song that sends these two upstairs in the first place. You can also read a snippet of Percy and Audrey's New Year's celebration a week later in chapter one of _Many a Weary Foot_.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

* * *

_Christmas at the Burrow 2000_

Percy Weasley stood outside his old bedroom door. His girlfriend Audrey Cooper waited inside, having been more or less forced up here by the scheming of one Hermione Granger and her bloody Christmas song list. Which, if you asked him, was more like a warped version of musical chairs with sex instead of seats. Which would be fine if he and Audrey were having sex. But they weren't. Yet. And maybe never would, thanks to Hermione and her attempts to control everything. Hoping he wasn't walking into a hexing, Percy turned the doorknob.

Audrey fired a shot, but it wasn't the one he expected.

"Why didn't you tell me about Fred?"

"I—what?" Prepared to reassure her they did not need to make major decisions based on what carol played on the wireless, Percy was taken by surprise.

He did not like surprises.

"Why didn't you tell me about Fred? I'm standing in your mother's sitting room admiring everyone's school pictures, wondering why there seem to be more of George than anyone else, when I realize there are six boys in the family photos, not five. They're _twins_, Percy!"

"I know that."

"Do you have any idea how stupid I felt? We've been dating for _seven months_! Thank goodness your mother said his name, or I still would have no idea who he was!"

"I—" She wanted to talk about Fred? Now?

"Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, plural. I thought it referred to George and Ron, but it's George and Fred, isn't it? The twins started the joke shop together."

It was strange, hearing their names linked like that. It had always been Fred and George.

"How could you not have told me you had a fifth brother?" Her voice cracked, and Percy realized she wasn't really angry; she was hurt. "I thought—I thought I meant more to you than that."

The accusation hung heavily between them. "You do," he said, shifting his weight. "It's complicated."

Audrey crossed her arms. "We have time," she said, coldly enough that Percy half-expected to see her breath.

"At first, I didn't realize you didn't know. My family was in the papers a lot the first year after the war, and I just assumed you knew the general story. Then I didn't tell you because it's always so awkward. And I didn't want your pity."

" 'There's six of us now, but there used to be seven. My brother Fred died in the war.' How hard is that?"

"Harder than you can possibly imagine," Percy said, biting off the words. The shock was fading now, chased by an irrational anger. "You're an only child."

She didn't back down. "That doesn't excuse you lying to me."

"I never—"

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Percy!" she burst out, breaking her frozen stance to pace the narrow room. "You deliberately led me to believe a lie."

"I didn't know I had to expose every painful detail of my life the minute we met!"

"But it hasn't been the minute we met for a long time. When were you planning to tell me? Or were you just going to let me humiliate myself in front of your entire family?"

Percy turned away from her, staring at the blank wall where his Gryffindor banner used to hang.

"Well, that became the problem. I had waited so long to tell you that I didn't know how to tell you I had waited to tell you."

"For a smart man, you can be _incredibly_ stupid."

"I don't need you to tell me that, believe me," he said bitterly.

"What's this really about, Percy?"

It was a long time before he faced her again, and when he did, she was sitting on his bed. They stared at each other, and Percy knew this was a watershed moment. Either he opened up and told Audrey the truth, or she was going to walk out of this room and out of his life. He felt sick. Audrey said nothing, just watched him with dark, knowing eyes.

"I—" Shaking slightly (what if she left anyway, when she found out the truth about him?), he sat down beside her, leaving several feet in between. "When I left Hogwarts, I went to work for the Ministry in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. It was the summer before England hosted the Quidditch World Cup and the Triwizard Tournament came to Hogwarts. We were very busy, and the important things that were happening in my department made me feel important too. Something that hadn't happened at home very much." He felt disloyal saying it out loud, but she wanted the truth. "I was so eager to prove myself and—" He swallowed. "And to prove I had more ambition than my dad that I missed the fact my boss was under the Imperius Curse and controlled by Lord Voldemort for the better part of a year."

Audrey gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth.

"When this came to light, thanks to none other than a fourteen-year-old boy, I thought my career with the Ministry was over. So, when Cornelius Fudge approached me about being his Junior Assistant, I accepted gratefully." He paused, wiping his palms on his robes. "Do you remember the _Prophet_'s smear campaign against Harry and Dumbledore in the summer of '95?"

She nodded.

"I believed it," Percy said simply. "I thought the Minister of Magic was in a better position to know the truth than my parents were, and most certainly than a schoolboy, and since Fudge said Voldemort wasn't back, he wasn't back. I—when I told my parents about my promotion, they weren't pleased. They thought Fudge only gave me the position so I could spy on them and Dumbledore. Needless to say, I was furious. Dad and I rowed. Badly. And I left."

The silence was loud, palpable, and lengthy.

"Left?" Audrey said tentatively.

"I walked out and didn't see or speak to anyone in my family for three years." Not literally true, but close enough.

"Percy!"

"I missed Christmas, I missed birthdays—including Ron's seventeenth—I missed the Wheezes's grand opening. I missed Bill and Fleur's wedding. Dad was nearly killed by Voldemort's snake, Ron and Ginny were involved in some fiasco at the Ministry, Ron was poisoned, Bill was attacked by a werewolf, George's ear was cursed off … I missed it all. And the night I came back is the same night Fred died. So, no, you do not need to tell me I can be incredibly stupid. I know that full well."

()()()()

Audrey waited for Percy to look at her, but when it became obvious he wasn't going to, she reached out and lightly brushed his hands, which he had clenched in his lap, white and bloodless.

"Percy, look at me."

It took him a long time to comply, but Audrey waited. You didn't become a magical grammar school teacher without lots of patience.

His eyes behind his glasses were deep blue and shining with unshed tears, his expression hollow and hopeless.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know."

As she had hoped, her apology threw him off.

"What? No, I—" He stopped, finally paying enough attention to see her. "You look…." His brow furrowed, and he pushed his glasses up his nose with one finger. "You look sad."

"Of course I'm sad. You're hurting. I can feel it radiating off you in waves."

"You're not … angry?"

She shook her head.

"Or disappointed in me?"

"Percy, it couldn't be more obvious that mistake haunts you, that it has shaped you into who you are today. I knew you were hiding something from me, something that kept us from moving forward. That's why I was so upset when I found out about Fred. I couldn't understand why you thought having a brother who died would change how I feel about you."

"But this does." He looked away from her again.

"It helps me understand you better. It explains a lot, actually."

He lifted his glasses with two fingers and settled them back on his nose, a nervous habit. "I—if you want to leave, I'll understand. No hard feelings."

"I'm not leaving."

"You're not?"

"Not because of something you did five years ago. Not because of something you work so hard to make right."

He stared at her, nonplussed.

"It couldn't be more obvious that your family is important to you, that you make them a priority in your life. That you're protective of them. That's why you waited so long to invite me to the Burrow, right?" Audrey held her breath. That was a guess—that Percy had avoided introducing her to his family not because he worried they would disapprove of her, but that she would disapprove of them. Her first family dinner had been for Mrs. Weasley's birthday just before Halloween, and Audrey suspected if it hadn't been his mother's birthday, her request to meet Audrey might have been delayed further still.

Percy gave a slight tilt of his head in acknowledgement. "What—what does it explain?"

"Look, Perce, you really got shafted in the order of things," Audrey said. "Bill and Charlie were natural friends and playmates, but you were the third wheel. Which wouldn't have mattered if the next baby became your friend and confidant, but that baby was two babies, twins. You couldn't break into the twin bond, so you became serious and mature in hopes of being accepted by your older brothers, to show them you were different from George and Fred, but they weren't interested. Acting older just made you seem pretentious and stuck-up, so when your mother relied on you to help with your younger siblings, they sabotaged you so it looked like you weren't capable, and when you did do something right, nobody noticed because Bill or Charlie had already done it or could do it better."

Percy gaped at her, and Audrey allowed herself a small smile. He so rarely did anything that even approached rudeness that it was rather satisfying.

"It's only natural that when someone important showed interest in you and your accomplishments, you responded favorably. I'm not saying it was right, but it is understandable. No one in your family sees that because they don't really see _you_."

It took him several seconds to find his voice. "How did you know all that?"

"I read about things I don't understand, and I watch people to learn the nuances of relationships. It's intimidating being around a family like yours."

Percy smiled. "You did all right tonight. Coming up here, I mean."

"I did?"

"Uh-huh."

"I—" Her mouth had gone suddenly dry, and she brushed lint from her lap. "I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

He raised one eyebrow. "Which is…."

When had he moved closer? There had been a whole yard between them, so when had he moved close enough for their knees to touch?

"It's not that I'm not open to the idea. I just don't think it's anyone else's business what we're doing. Or not."

He laughed. "Darling, this is family. _Everything_ is everyone's business."

"I'd rather this—" She placed one hand on his thigh. "—Stayed between us."

Percy looked at her from the corner of his eye, then adjusted his glasses again. "You, uh—I mean—you shouldn't let this pressure you into anything. It's—no one will care. Ginny is covering for us. We can pretend—"

"I don't want to pretend. I want to be with you. Completely. For real." Audrey's heart thumped in her ears.

Percy covered her hand with his, his long fingers playing with her own. They hadn't talked about their physical relationship in months, not since they'd agreed to be exclusive.

"I didn't think you were ready."

"I wasn't—not when you were hiding something from me."

He blew out a breath, then looked at her. "Has anybody ever told you, you have the _worst_ sense of timing?"

His thumb traced circles in her palm, generating a heat disproportionate to the light touch. "Once or twice."

Percy tipped her chin up with his other hand and brought his face closer to hers. "I love you."

"I love you," Audrey whispered, and when he moved closer still, her eyes fluttered shut. He slid his hand into her hair and cradled her head, and as he deepened the kiss she could feel his restraint, the impatience just beneath the surface. She shivered at the idea of unleashing it ... she had been dreaming about ruffling the perfectly put-together wizard for months. She raised her hands to his shoulders and leaned back, and he followed her down onto the bed, kissing along her neck.

"Audrey?"

"Mmm?"

Percy propped himself up on his elbows, then leaned back to bring her into focus. "Not here."

She took a deep breath, then nodded. "My place?"

He brushed her hair away from her face. "I should take you out. Someplace special."

Audrey laughed. "You've been taking me out for months. Keep stalling, and I'm going to think you're not interested."

"I'm definitely interested. But this should be about us, don't you think? Just me and you. No family and no lists."

She hesitated, then decided to ask. "You didn't tell me about Fred. You told me about—"

He pushed away from her and stood up.

"I'm sorry, I just—"

Percy's back was to her. He straightened his sleeves with a small, sharp tug on each cuff. "Let it alone, Audrey."

She sat up and smoothed her own robes and hair but was unable to smooth the knot in her stomach. She should have kept her mouth shut. She didn't want their time together to end like this.

Percy opened his bedroom door, and they descended the stairs in silence. Audrey was almost in sight of the sitting room when he pulled her back.

His kiss was gentle this time, soft and tender, and she laid a hand on his cheek, accepting the apology.

They were still face-to-face, still close, when the kitchen door swung open.

"Audrey, there you are," Fleur said, sweeping past Percy with nary a glance and dragging Audrey along with her. "I wanted to ask you … if the two of us got together, maybe we could convince Molly to listen to something other than that dreadful Celestina…."

Percy looked at his oldest brother, who was watching his wife's swaying hips walk away from him. "You have told her that's a losing battle, right?"

Bill shrugged. "She doesn't believe me. She thinks all we have to do is find another musical Christmas program and Mum will switch."

"We should be so lucky."

Bill smirked. "You seem to have had some luck yourself, little brother."

Percy nodded. "I think so." If he hadn't screwed it up at the end, giving her the cold shoulder. But that last kiss, just now….

"You might want to put your tongue back in your mouth before you rejoin the family," Bill said, amused.

"You're one to talk!"

"You two were gone for a _long_ time, Perce. Fleur and I have been upstairs and back and into the kitchen with empty dessert dishes."

"What did Ginny say?" His sister had promised to make sure no one asked any embarrassing questions.

"I don't know. We were upstairs too, remember?"

Ginny breezed into the hallway. "I'll say this for Fleur, she's persistent, if not exactly tactful," she said. "Was the bathroom empty when you came down, Perce?"

"Yes, I think so," Percy said, but Ginny had already passed them and jogged up the stairs.

There was a lull in the conversation from the sitting room, just enough for Celestina's voice to be understood.

She was singing about snow.

And without discussion, without even looking at one another, Percy and Bill moved to block the hallway.

Harry came around the corner and sighed. "Are we going to do this _every_ Christmas?"


End file.
